Wednesday, October 05, 2011

Signs That I've Finally Lost It

1.  I drop off kids at preschool in the morning.  Only two kids.....Lainey Caroline and Rylee Sky.  (They're currently using middle names.....just go with it.) 

Dropping them off includes walking them in and waiting for them to 'sign in'.  Signing in includes choosing a sticker and then placing it next to their name for the coordinating date to show their attendance.

Simple, right?

Hell no. 

First of all, there can be a line of students waiting to 'sign in'.  8 kids can take up to 20 minutes to sign in.  I kid you not. 

I stood there the other day watching all of the other mothers smile adoringly at their kids selecting stickers, finding their names......Nope!.......she wants another sticker......a purple one instead of pink......no problem......we've got time......then she finds her name again.......and spends 3 minutes pealing the sticker off her finger and then looks for her name again.....where is it?......where did it go?.......oh, there it is!!!!.......all the while I'm wanting to bash my head into the wall waiting this out.

Lainey is no different.  She finally gets her turn and the same procession plays out.  I try to coach her along......and the stubborn little brat precious darling changes her mind several times......I again, look at the other mothers observing this process and then do the "I want to strangle this kid!!!!!" hand motion with my hands close to her neck and with my crazy face on, toungue sticking out.

************crickets**************

***********blank stares************

I'm officially the crazy preschool mom.  Who are these women?  Why do they not find this process frustrating?

I have problems, people.

 


2.  I'm considering seeing the latest installment of Paranormal Activity.  Enough said there.

3.  My fingers are finally just little stubs left over after dressing these damn princesses all day long.

Why would the factories put tiny, skinny fingers on them?  They all catch on the crappy fabric that makes up these dresses and it takes me forever to put each dress on.

Why are the dresses coming off?  I'm assuming that they're simply getting baths throughout the day and not making out with THE JUSTIN BEIBER DOLL she was given for her birthday.

4.  I asked JB from Widespread Panic to marry me recently (twice) on their Faceook page. 

They had a "Ask JB" question session.  The temptation was too much.

This is wrong because:

a.  I'm married.

b.  He's married.

c.  I kind of look like a stalker now.

5.  I'm considering an all night stake out to catch the critter red-handed that continues to destroy this one specific potted plant in our front yard.  He's not interested in any others.....just this one......and I'm baffled as to why.  Regardless of what I plant......and I've tried a half dozen flowers since arriving in California......he keeps eating them.


6.  There are hibiscus flowers blooming beautifully in our front and back yards.  I'm countering this spring-like growth with a hideous amount of Halloween.

Fall will happen in California.  I'm determined.


See?  I'm close to be committed, yall. 

I wonder if I'll get to blog from the facility I'm headed to?


11 comments:

BrownEyedGirlsMom said...

I know what you mean about the sticker thing - same thing happens at our doctors' office - I just want to say pick a damn sticker and let's move on. Let me know how the facility is, I am sure I will be there with you in no time!! One crazy mom to another ...

Quinn, Allison, Rylee and Cailyn McNamara said...

Don't worry, I'll visit you. Hell, maybe I'll even join you! Especially once I have to take over car pool when you're institutionalized and I am there waiting 20 minutes for sticker choosing.

Impulsive Addict said...

Ok, that sounds totally frustrating! I would have totally laughed at you in line. I promise.

Asking someone to marry you on their fb page is pathetic. You could have at least mailed a post card or tweeted it. STALKER.

Brittny said...

Thank you Lord I am not alone!!!!! It drives me bonkers when people think they are the only ones around and other people have NO WHERE TO GO WITHOUT CHILDREN! I am standing behind them, doing the whole "wringing your neck with an evil face" thing and wanting to yell, "I AM PAYING TO LEAVE MY CHILD SO I CAN REMEMBER WHAT SANE FEELS LIKE WILL YOU PA-LEEEEEEASE MOVE IT SO I CAN DO THAT!!!!!!!!!"

Ahhhhhhhhh....... that feels much better.

One more thing, these people work with children, right? So don't you think they know that they can't make up their own mind and sometimes they just have to be given a sticker instead of getting to pick one?

STAMPS!!!!! They should just have a stamp that they child can put next to their name. One stamp. One ink pad. Job done.

I should write a book.

And I'll call it "Crazy like Casey."

Kim said...

Lol! Love it all. I think my Preschool teachers need to have a chat with your preschool teachers, we have a MUCH simpler process but basically the same concept. Hope you survive to write more, I love that you keep it real!

Brittny said...

For the record, I think you should write a book when the kids are older. you could call it, "I made it! (But just barely.)" You always have the most hilarious stories and I know I would buy a copy for everyone I know and pass them out. And I will be more than happy to help you on your book tour. I know that someone will be needed to help you with everything that is involved with that and I guess I could do it. : )

~KS said...

I might be headed to the same facility. Don't worry. I will add a clause to our admittance papers demanding internet services.

And kinda love the kids are demanding to use their middle names. Rock on small children.

Lauren W said...

Hahahah!! I don't laugh out loud often, but you made me do just that. I hope none of those other Moms read your blog. Or.... maybe I hope that they do.

Impulsive Addict said...

Ummm....it's Monday. This post was from Wednesday. WHERE ARE YOU??? I've already commented on this one!

GET IT TOGETHER OVER THERE.

Kelly Beatty said...

People always think everything their own kids do is sooooo cute. I mean your kids are super cute but I'm sure the other ones are a tad annoying.

Did you ever hear back from JB?

Vincent Family said...

You are cracking me up!!! And I feel your pain.