For most people I know, I'm the absolute minority when it comes to topics related to "waiting".
I've never been in a big rush to potty train. Carter was nearly three when my grandmother pointed out his legs lopping over the changing table while we were on vacation in California.
"Aren't you going to potty train him soon?"
"Hmmm.....I guess I should get going on that, huh?"
Carter was 4 when we started trying to get pregnant again. We married quickly. Had a baby even quicker and saw no rush in having another child. We had a savings account to fill and a house to build. Blake and I took our time. Carter snorkeled in Mexico, surfed in Hawaii and traveled through California unlike most adults have experienced before we even ventured into the 2nd child dynamic.
I put no pressure on Blake to have another baby. Truth be told, I liked the idea of having a child every 5 years. I've heard all of the arguments against this timing and I can't say that I agree with many of them. "They'll be better friends if they're closer in age." Really? Caroline and I are 5 years apart and have a sibling between us. I've never been closer to anyone in my life. As children and as adults.
So, we moved forward after Carter and lived our lives. We got to know him so well and his "only child" status, I believe, contributed to his personality today. Confident, independent, strong.
Then we had Jack and I really felt in control of our little family. Blake's career was moving along nicely and we were headed to Colorado.....lovely, beautiful Colorado.....life was good.
And, then the Christmas Blizzard of 2006 hit Denver and we Texans, not being accustomed to snow or a blizzard for that matter, didn't venture out much for a few months. Which brings us to Lainey. Our only daughter and a new light in our life that has changed it so dramatically.
I could list out the pros and cons of having kids close in age vs spacing them out. We really are doing both versions:
I feel lucky that Carter and Jack are boys because boys naturally gravitate toward the same things. Dinosaurs, snakes, bathroom humor and grossing out Mom. I'm grateful our youngest is a girl. It feels right. The boys take care of her and toughen her up at the same time.
All in all, I feel that every child kind of fell into place, timing wise. While I would have liked another chunk of time between Jack and Lainey, I'm honored to experience motherhood in this new way as well.
Aside from how our kids lined up, I've also been an oddity regarding the milestones. Besides breaking the bottle habit (which, I learned with Carter was easier done sooner than later), I've been very relaxed about the rest of it.
Potty training? When they're absolutely ready.
Crib to bed? Not until we have to.
Sippy cups? 2 out of 3 of mine still use them.
And, finally school. A few of you know me well enough to know that I'm in no rush to send my kids off. I've never done Mother's Day Out and really have no interest in it. As far as "time for me" goes, Jack and Lainey go to their classrooms while I'm in mine during Building Better Moms. Our kids are in bed early and I have a highly involved husband who takes over the minute he walks in from work on my stressful days and sends me to the movies on others. So, I haven't felt the urge to put them in a program.
Oh, the criticism I receive! Most of my friends simply can't understand it and others insist they have to have the socialization. OK. Why? Neither of our little ones are running for Congress anytime soon. They both see more museums and go on more zoo trips than most Kindergartners I know. We're constantly around other children. While I see that a consistent, formal classroom setting could benefit them say......at their Christmas program mentioned in a previous post......besides that, I simply can't find the urgency if I'm happy providing equally stimulating and educational opportunities to them. I see nothing wrong with Mother's Day Out. It's just not a fit for me.
Perhaps it's a result of my working while Carter was a toddler and I'm making up for time "lost". While he thrived in daycare and preschool, I wasn't with him on a daily basis. Maybe it's because we're done having children and I'm not ready for them to grow up. Sending them to school makes them less of babies and more of children.
It certainly could be a combination of all of these things. Any way you look at it, I'm cherishing these days at home with my two little monsters. It's all going so fast. I guess you could say that I'm soaking up every last minute of their toddlerhoods and feel good about our choices.
A lot of this has been fresh on my mind because I was hoping to start Jack in Preschool come January and found out recently his class is full. We're on the waiting list and hoping to be fit in, otherwise, we will wait until the Fall. I spoke to the director today and she assured me he would be just fine waiting, given our current routine and participation in the community.
Ok, then. Someone else is on board with "waiting". Maybe he won't end up in prison after all.